Short answer: start now with what is easy: gather familiar photos, ask about them gently, and record the stories and the voice when your parent enjoys talking. Make a simple life story with copies of photos and big names under them, follow their mood rather than a plan, and ask their care team what works for them.
Last updated: 3 November 2026. This page gives practical, non-medical suggestions. The advice on handling photos and keeping digital copies was checked on that day on the official pages; the sources are at the bottom. For anything about health or care, talk to your parent's doctor or care team.
When a parent is diagnosed with dementia, many children feel a sudden hurry: there are so many questions you never asked. At the same time, a conversation about the past can be lovely one day and tiring the next. This page is about doing what you can, kindly, without turning your parent into a project.
Start with photos, not questions
An old photo gives a conversation something to hold on to. Sit next to your parent, look at one photo at a time and ask an open question: who is this, where was this? If the answer does not come, say it yourself: this is you with Aunt Rosa at the seaside. Correcting or testing tends to spoil the moment. Many families and care homes do this kind of looking back together, often called reminiscence or life story work.
- Choose familiar images: their wedding, their children, the street they grew up in, their work, a pet.
- Use copies. Keep the originals safe and handle them as little as possible; the Library of Congress advises against tape, glue and sticky notes on photos.
- Write names in large letters under each copy, so carers and visitors can join in.
Recording the voice and the stories
If your parent agrees and is enjoying the conversation, put your phone on the table and record. Keep it short, ten or fifteen minutes. Stop when they are tired or upset, and never record in secret. A story told twice is fine; the second telling often has a new detail. Afterwards, write a line about what each recording is about and keep at least two copies in different places, as the Library of Congress recommends for digital photos.
Ways to keep and share what you gather
| Option | Good for | Voice | Not the best choice when |
|---|---|---|---|
| Printed life story book | Something to hold and look through together, also for care staff | No | You want to keep the voice, or keep adding |
| Memory box with copies and objects | Touch and recognition: a scarf, a tool, a postcard | No | Relatives far away want to see it too |
| Recordings on your phone | Quick and easy in the moment | Yes | Only you have them, or the phone gets lost |
| The Memory Palace | Photos and the voice side by side, shared with brothers, sisters, grandchildren and friends | Yes, voice recordings and videos | Your parent would use it alone: it is made for the family around them, not as a care tool |
Including the whole family, and old friends
Brothers and sisters each remember different things, and old friends of your parent know stories no child has heard. Ask them for one photo and one memory each. Grandchildren can record a short question for grandma, and her answer. It helps when everything ends up in one place instead of in ten phones.
The Memory Palace, honestly
The Memory Palace is your own 3D memory palace: photos, voice recordings, videos and written stories hang in rooms you walk through. You can make a wing for your parent's life, with a room per period. It is private by default; you invite family and friends and choose per person whether they can view only or also add. A collect link lets anyone you send it to add a photo, a memory or a voice recording without an account. The interview about someone else gives you ten questions about a person, such as where they grew up, that you can read aloud to your parent or answer yourself. For a relative who does not use a screen, the monthly letter prints one or two pages in large letters with what was added and by whom, with a QR code for each voice.
What it lacks: it is not a care or therapy tool, and we make no claim about memory or health. It is a screen-based app, which not every person with dementia finds easy; for many, a printed book or a box works better in the hand. It is encrypted in transit and at rest, but not end-to-end. It is made by a small team in Leuven, Belgium. The free plan has 1 GB, and you can download everything as a ZIP on every plan.
A gentle start
This week, pick five photos and look at them together, without a goal. If you want a few questions in your pocket, the free family interview asks one question about a life with two gentle follow-ups and stores nothing. If you want one place for the photos and voices, you can start a palace for free.
Read on: how to interview elderly family members, how to record a grandparent's voice and stories, when a parent does not want to talk about the past, and all guides on family stories.
Sources
- Library of Congress, care, handling and storage of photographs (limit markings; write on the back near the edge with a soft graphite pencil; no adhesives, sticky notes, paper clips or rubber bands; cool, dry, stable storage): loc.gov/preservation/care/photo.html
- Library of Congress, Personal Digital Archiving, digital photos (at least two copies in different places; check them once a year; descriptive file names; tag people and subjects): digitalpreservation.gov/personalarchiving/photos.html