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Your late parents' photos: sorting, sharing and keeping

· 4 min read · The Memory Palace Team

Try it now with your photo

Answer what you can see. Each answer narrows the period, and I don't know is always fine.

What kind of photo is it?
Colour or black and white?
Corners and edges
What is on the back?
Is there a printed date?
Estimated period

Answer the first question to see a period.

Check with what is in the photo

  • Clothing and hairstyles, with care: in the countryside and among older people fashion lagged behind, and everyone dressed up for the photographer.
  • Cars, number plates, shop signs and buildings: nothing in the photo can be newer than the photo itself.
  • Ages: if you know who it is, a known birth year and the age a person looks give a year.
  • Other photos from the same album or box whose date you do know.

Put the year in the file name

A year in the file name stays with the photo when it is copied, sent or sorted, even when the date inside the file is lost. Nothing is renamed here: copy the name and use it when you save or rename the file.

Fill in a year to see a name.

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After the funeral comes the house. The cupboards, the attic, the drawer under the bed. And somewhere among it all, the boxes: prints with a white border, albums with cardboard pages, a tray of slides, letters with photos tucked inside. It feels like a job you have to finish today. You do not. This article helps you do it in the right order.

The short answer

Throw nothing away in the first weeks. Gather everything in one place, sort it later in peace, and digitise before you divide: then everyone gets every photo, and the division is only about the originals. The photos on your parents' phone and computer do need attention soon. And write down who is in the photos, with the help of whoever recognises the faces.

Step 1: everything in one place

Photos are rarely in one spot. They are in albums, but also in envelopes from the photo shop, between books, in a biscuit tin, behind a frame, in a wallet. Walk through the house deliberately and put everything in one room or one large box. Also take what surrounds the photos: letters, memorial cards, funeral notices, old passports. Those help you find dates and names later.

Step 2: sorting without deciding

Make three piles, and do not decide yet what can go:

  • People you know. Your parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, the neighbours from back then.
  • People you do not know. Keep these until someone has seen them. This is often the most valuable pile.
  • Duplicates and failed shots. Two copies of the same print, blurry photos, landscapes without people.

Do not take albums apart. The order and the captions in an album often tell you more than the photos themselves: which year, which occasion, who was there.

Step 3: digitise first, then divide

Between brothers and sisters, things often go wrong at the division. There is only one wedding photo of your parents, and three children who want it. The solution is simple: scan everything first, and give everyone a complete digital copy. Then the division is only about the originals, and that is a smaller conversation.

AgreementWhy
Everyone gets all the scansNobody loses a photo because of the division.
Albums stay wholeThe order and captions are information.
Whoever takes an original keeps it dry and darkPrints fade in light and are damaged by damp.
One place where all the scans are kept togetherOtherwise, in ten years, everyone has a different, incomplete folder.

How to scan, at what resolution and in which file format, is explained in our article on digitising old photos.

The photos that are not in a box

Many photos from the last twenty years are not on paper, but on a phone, a tablet, an old computer or in the cloud. These need more urgency than the boxes. A phone nobody can unlock, or an account that disappears after a period of inactivity, takes those photos with it. Whether and how you can get to them depends on what your parent set up in advance. Our article on digital legacy explains how this works with Google, Apple and Facebook.

Once you have copied the digital photos, thememorypalace.ai/timeline shows how many photos there are per year, and which years stay empty. That way you see straight away whether a folder, a phone or a drive is still missing. The photos are not uploaded for this.

Start with the names

The part that disappears fastest is not the photo but the name that goes with it. Who is the man next to your grandfather at the village fair? Who is the girl with the plaits? Your parents knew. Their brothers, sisters and friends may still know. Take the "people you do not know" pile along when you visit, and write the names down straight away, in pencil on the back or in the description of the scan.

A damaged photo of someone who mattered can be restored for free and without an account at thememorypalace.ai/restore. The result states visibly that AI was used.

A place for what you found

A folder of scans on a computer is a start, but not a place where a family looks together. In The Memory Palace, you bring the photos, the names and the stories together in the rooms of a palace, and invite brothers, sisters and grandchildren to look and add to it themselves. Wings and rooms are private until you share them, and a full export is always possible, even on the free plan.

Questions people ask

What do I do first with the photos after my parents have died?

Throw nothing away and gather everything in one place: prints, albums, slides, negatives, letters and the loose envelopes from drawers and cupboards. The sorting can wait, and be done calmly. What leaves the house in the first weeks does not come back.

How can brothers and sisters divide the family photos fairly?

Have everything digitised first and give everyone a complete digital copy. Then the division is only about the originals. Agree that albums stay whole, and that whoever takes an original also looks after it and shares the scan.

Is it all right to throw away photos of my late parents?

It is, but only after sorting and after talking it over with the family. Duplicates, blurry shots and landscapes without people are usually the first things that can go. Photos of people nobody recognises are better kept until someone has seen them.

How do I get to the photos on my late parent's phone or in their cloud?

That depends on what your parent set up in advance. With Google and Apple, a contact chosen in advance can get access. Without that setting, it is harder and takes longer. Read our article on digital legacy for more.

How do I find out who is in old photos?

Ask the people who are still alive and might know: uncles, aunts, neighbours, your parents' friends. Bring the photos along and write the names down straight away. Sometimes there is something written on the back, or a memorial card or a family tree helps put a name to a face.

See which years are missing from your photos

Reads the date taken of your digital photos and shows how many photos you have per year, so the empty years stand out.

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